got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
BRING THE BAGELS
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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