whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just high enough for therapy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
