That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
handjob tips. give me some.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
