He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Everclear isn't food dammit
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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