why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
