his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
