South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
