I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I smell stomach acid.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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