we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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