The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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