Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
