you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
smell my finger.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
