D3 body, D1 cock
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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