my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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