so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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