4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
