Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
