come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
