I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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