i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
