well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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