Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
