Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
