do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
