She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize