Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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