why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Be still, my beating vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
