these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
