mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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