yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
