I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
