Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
