So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
