Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
