Please, let me fuck your mom
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
