well most of my day revolves around power hour
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize