If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
