You can't special order awesome
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
