I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Houston, we have a blender
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
