But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
