Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
