But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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