I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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