they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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