i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
