I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
