I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
