K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
