He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
