Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize