M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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