we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Welp...herpes.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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