Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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