She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
